Stumbling blocks in small talk and fluent flirts

First of all, a question, why on earth is it so hard Finnish guys to ask girls out, or even ask their phone numbers? Seriously. For example, in England guys just spit out the question after chatting like five minutes. "Hey can I get your phone number?" Piece of cake. Not that hard. Well, you would think so.. I also heard from my lovely Finnish friend who lives in Switzerland that a guy over there once just took her phone and called his own number and said, "Thanks for your phone number!" That's how you do it! Well, that's how I like it. A bit edge is always good! ;) Finnish guys never do such thing. A normal Finnish guy doesn't ask your phone number, not until his friend comes by while you're chatting with the guy, and asks him "hey dude, you already asked her phone number?" It happened to me one weekend. I almost burst into laughing but I hold it. Well, I don't know why, but I gave him my number and left.

Finnish guys are just stumbling blocks when it comes to approaching a girl. They are clumsy and reserved almost incapable of small talk and flirting. It's common among Finnish people, not just guys. Again, I'm not in this pattern. I'm the if-i-see-something-tempting-I-have-to-go-and-get it kind of girl. I've learned by living in Finland that you have to do something yourself to make something happen. Ok, I'm generalizing badly, of course there's exceptions. I've met guys here who have asked me out without hardly any stumbling...after all. What I'm trying to say is that Finnish guys usually needs more time to be able to flirt and be with a girl without any nervousness. They take more time to ask a girl out, when guys from Southern Europe just go for it right away without doing much thinking. They are fluent flirts. What is there to think anyway? For example, what if she doesn't fancy me? What if I'm just gonna embarrass myself? WHY WHY WHY DO YOU NEED TO THINK SO MUCH?! Ok, did I just say that? I'm the biggest over-thinker ever, so I think I should take my words back... :D Back to the point, I think life is too short to think such things. It's like you're going to die or something, if you ask someone out. There's nothing to lose. That's how I think right before I go and ask a guy out. So bashful men in general, I know this isn't just about Finnish guys, be men and go ask a girl out on a date, so we women don't need to do all the work. Haha

However, after couple of drinks, in the beginning so bashful and sweet guy changes. Suddenly, no more awkward silences, compliments are flying out of his mouth and his flirt is not that clumsy anymore! I'm sure each of you fabulous ladies have met one guy like this. That can happen every where with every kind of guys. It just how it works. Alcohol gives more confidence and makes you feel good about yourself. Then you can do things you wouldn't usually do. It happens to us girls too! Too way often though, guys become too friendly. They are stucking their tongues in your mouth and pinching your bumm and so on. Not so attractive, suddenly we notice ourselves to wish that bashful and sweet guy to come back. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

What's bad about sweet guys who are not good with girls anyway? They are just nervous around you, that's pretty cute, huh? Ok, confident guys are just irresistible, they know how to make you sweep off your feet and in the best cases they can make you blush, even though you never ever blush! Umm.. what was I saying? Oh, but sweet shy guys, why not? We just get prejudiced too early. They can surprise you. Like the guy with the friend "dude you asked her number yet?" He called me one night. "Just wondered would you like to meet up tomorrow?" I was stunned. Didn't have courage to ask my number by himself but did have courage to call me. Usually guys text here. Being so positively surprised I said "Why not."
Like I already said, there's nothing to lose.

Until next time,

lovesme xxx

PS: I was thinking Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe would have been perfect to attach here, but I've noticed people have started to be annoyed by the song, so instead of being annoyed, enjoy Adam Levine's exceptional male voice.

Music in my heart

At the end of my latest post I mentioned the Madonna gig where me and Sara gonna go in August. So I came up with an idea to make a list of the singers/bands that I'd like to see live some day! Some of them mean the world for me, some are otherwise really important to me. Music and singing has always been close to my heart. For me, music is inspiration. It's cure. It's drug. By listening to music you can live the moments you'll cherish in your memory again. Music makes you smile, cry, it can affect you in so many ways. It makes you feel the life itself.


I have three factors that I appreciate in music most. Firstly the sincere lyrics, secondly great touching vocal performance and the show. Let me tell you about my choices. Enjoy.


Celine Dion

Celine Dion

Been on the top of my list forever. In my opinion, the greatest voice on earth. When I was a little girl and watched Titanic and heard one of the most famous movie themes first time. Well since then I've loved her. She's the best. Her voice always gives me shivers. Her way to be present on the stage every single night of the show is. The way she sings, so effortlessly but full of emotion is one of its' kind. . It's because of her I found my passion for music and singing.


In 2007 I heard Celine Dion will take her Taking Chances Tour to Helsinki! My birthday was coming so I thought that it's perfect my parents know I'm crazy about her so they will get the tickets! THEY DIDN'T! Ok the tickets were pretty expensive but I was so upset! I would have had a chance to see her!!! Hopefully she will come around again. See her show and hear the voice live would be the best day of my life. Now she's doing a show in Las Vegas. Unfortunately that's way too expensive for me to go. Check the video from the show below. A good example of the effortless singing she can do! Perfect <3

Adele

Adele

Like I mentioned I really appreciate great vocal performance, Celine Dion and the lady above presents this field better than no one on my list. Celine Dion will always be my biggest favorite, but Adele with her powerful dark female voice combined with her sincere lyrics about her life, is just breath taking to listen! By listening to her you can really hear the message she want's to send or the story she wants to tell. I love her way to write down her feelings and being so open about them in public. You can find yourself in the lyrics. She's one of my greatest inspirations, because that's what I want to do in my life too. Write down my thoughts and feelings so well that people could identify with them. Like I do with Adele's lyrics. Some people can't just find the words but I could help them to find some. Like Adele has helped me. Especially when it comes to breakup and heartbreak. Adele is the one who can find the words. She's amazing. She's also a fabulous role model. There has been a lot of talk about her weight but she doesn't care. She's not a skinny girl but she loves her body as it is! That's a message we should all take in. Not to care other people's opinions about our looks. Anyway, like millions and millions of other people in the world, I love the 21 album and hopefully, I will see my greatest inspiration face to face someday, and hear the voice the world so much adores. In below my favorite song "Take It All" live Itunes Festival 2011.

James Morrison

James Morrison

What can I say, a good looking British guy with a guitar and a voice that sweep me off my feet, what more can you want? James Morrison's music always reminds me of England. I listened to his first album Undiscovered when I went to London for the first time and it always reminds me of the time I fell in love with UK. It makes me remember the feeling again. Being there. In the right place. Feeling perfectly the ground under my feet. Perfectly balanced. So last year when I bought a ticket to his gig in London February 11th 2012, I was the happiest person in the WORLD. Well, in life everything doesn't go as planned. Something came up and I couldn't go. I HAD THE TICKET IN MY HAND AND I HAD TO SELL IT. It's still killing me when thinking about it. I simply love him. I don't know what else to say. Now I can't find the words. Just listen to this sweetness <3 :

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift

Ok, I know some of you might think that "What? You gotta be kidding me? Taylor Swift? She's part of that Miley Curys Selena Gomez gang. NO WAY!" Well, that's true, but this girl really can write songs in a very sweet way about life in our age. Love, growing up, heartbreak, high school, teenage problems and so on. Her music is so sweet. She has her own young, fresh country style. She sings simply but beautifully. Many of her songs are based on events that happened to her, but you can still be easily identified with them. She's a real role model for young people. For example, she doesn't drink or smoke. She's just this down-to-earth country girl writing songs with her guitar. I love that. Below one of my favorite songs White Horse. I think the song describes perfectly the typical first real crush, you see him through pink colour glasses but he really isn't what you thought he was. You thought he was everything you ever wanted but it was just an illusion. He breaks your heart. In the end, you know he was the one who made you realize that love is not a fairytale as you thought. We are not princesses. We are girls in real life. Happy endings don't always happen, but we still believe that someday we will have one and we keep looking.

Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran

Oh wow, no words. This guy made me believe that sentimental guys really do exist, I just had met none yet. :D Sheeran is just this casual guy in his 20s singing about his life with such a simple sincerity but even so very touching. I would love to go Sheeran's gig someday. I have this one song of his that really makes me think about my crush. I don't know why, I think it's just the general atmosphere in the song. This is a love song but for me this song is more about closeness. As you can see in lyrics:

"Settle down with me
Cover me up
Cuddle me in
Lie down with me
Hold me in your arms

Your heart's against my chest
Lips pressed to my neck
I've fallen for your eyes
But they don't know me yet"

I have a huge crush on this guy but we can't be together, cause we live too far away from each other. So I guess a part of me hopes someday I could have all that as in the lyrics above. He holding me in his arms. Cuddling, you know that sort of normal stuff you'd do with your crush. The song's lyrics are intimate but the tone is relaxed. It's the same with my crush. There's this chemistry between us and it's also so easy to be with him, no tension. It just felt right. And Kiss me reminds me of all that. This is why I love music. It make you remember things more vividly. Feel the memories again. Anyways, Ed Sheeran is my current favorite I listen to his album + all the time. His sensitivity in his music is just irresistible.

 

Madonna

Madonna

Everyone knows the fabulous bitch above. She's a legend. She's the Queen of Pop. She is Madonna and I will see her in Helsinki at Olympic Stadium 12.08.2012 with Sara! Once in a life time experience, the show, the dancers, Madonna itself! I admire her. Her strong attitude and self-confidence. She's on the stage like she owns the world! She's just mind blowingly amazing and we're gonna see thaaat!!! Madonna always makes me think of my friend Sara. We went through teenage years by listening Madonna and dancing to it at house partys! So there's no one else I'd rather go to the gig with! It's going to be mad! Like below ;)

Nickelback

Nickelback

This band is really important to me and Kisu. We've listened to it as long as I don't know? Since the beginning of our friendship? :D We've said many times that, if Nickelback comes to Finland we have to go to see them. Well we are going to! In Helsinki at Hartwall Arena 16.09.2012! They are heavier what I usually listen but I really like them! When they start to play this, I'll go crazy! :D :

Alright I guess this is it for now. I suppose this is my longest post for now. :D I wrote this like the whole day? Why do I always need to make everything perfect so it takes me such a long time to do it? Well that's perfectionism.. Anyway now I'm going to go and watch England game! Laters xxx

- lovesme

Football enthusiasm

I've never been madly interested in following any sort of sport, unless watching Formula 1 with my dad when I was in elementary school counts. Well currently UEFA European Football Championship is on and well... GO ENGLAND! I've really got enthusiastic about football! What has happened to me? Me, girliest girl ever, is interested in football and is yelling like a real football maniac when England scores? I didn't think I would see this day. Well anyways, it wasn't long ago when the best icehockey teams all over played for the World Championship 2012 and the same thing happened to my friend Sara! She wanted to see every Finland game and really got excited about it! So this made me wonder, why are we suddenly so interested in these sports?

Well obviously the playing fields are full of masculine elite with their perfect shaped abs and biceps like Cristiano Ronaldo has in below.. So no wonder that we are curious what they are doing in the field, right? ;) haha

Cristiano Ronaldo, Forward, Portugal

Well of course, that's not the main reason It's just a really considerable bonus! Actually when thinking about it in England's team there are not man candy's such as Ronaldo. Although the Goalkeeper Hart is pretty.. OK back to the point! No matter looks but I've picked my favorite players and they really know what to do with the ball in the field!

Wayne Rooney, Forward, Manchester United

Joe Hart, Goalkeeper, Manchester City

Steven Gerrard, Midfield, Liverpool

Anyway, maybe the reason for my current interest in football might be again my love for Britain and its' culture. There football is the biggest deal in sports. So maybe it was just a matter of time that I'll go crazy about it too. I've never been patriotic about Finland, but if it's possible, I'm more patriotic about England? Yes, I've lived in Finland for my whole life but like I've already told you, Finland doesn't feel like home. If you are not patriotic about your home country, let me say that then something has gone really wrong. If you catch the point. Well I can't wait till Sunday when the next game is on! They won last night, hopefully will do the same on Sunday!

Well what was the reason for my friend's enthusiasm for icehockey then? Well to be honest, I think it was MAINLY because of the guys... Can't blame her! There is something about sportsmen... ;) That's what we girls are like.

- lovesme xxx


PS: Got to mention, on Monday we got carried away with Sara and bought tickets to MDNA TOUR @ OLYMPIC STADIUM HELSINKI 12.08.2012 and in GOLDEN CIRCLE. We're gonna see that fabulous bitch just metres away from the stage! It's going to be MAD! I can't wait.

Gorgeous guys with babies - Irresistible?

Last weekend me and my friend witnessed a common phenomenon women often talk about: a gorgeous guy with a baby. I must say that I'm not a baby person, if you even can say so. Well I'm 19 year's old so maybe I'm not supposed to be a big baby person yet? Anyways, we saw this really gorgerous guy last weekend, he was tall, tanned, he had an athletic body, killer smile, what else can you wish for? Well it all changed when I saw him taking a baby out of a trolley. I was stunned. He has a baby? Well right away I thought ok I can forget about him then. No matter how gorgeours the guy is I don't want to be a stepmom when I'm 19 years old! Well I started to be undecided with my decision when I saw the guy playing with the baby, that killer smile on his face, being so gentle, caring, protective and just irresistibly sexy and cute at the same time! (Couple of examples below..oh wow)

David Beckham with baby daughter Harper via: Noypistuff

Cam Gigandet and baby daughter Everleigh Ray via: people.com

Chris Hemsworth with baby daughter India via justjared.com

In the moment, I remember myself saying to my friend "Ok, with a guy like that, even I can have babies!" I surprised myself saying so because like I already mentioned, I'm not a baby person. I mean really. I'm the one at a baby shower who holds the baby like a football (check the video below and you get the picture :D) and the baby starts to cry. 

Don't get me wrong, I think babies are cute and all but I don't think I could even get one myself. I know me, I'm not a mommy kind of person, and even my friends know it but maybe.. with a guy like Gigandet, Hemsworth or the one I saw last weekend who knows.. I might change my mind. ;) Who wouldn't? Picture what the babies would look like after growing up a little! Now when really thinking about it, it would be like my gift to the world to give birth such man candys! Haha!  Anyway, now I know for sure that gorgeous guys with babies have an effect on women cause one did affect me last weekend! We can't resist the guys with babies. Why's that? Maybe that's because of the way his with baby, gentle, caring, protective and so darn cute and that's what we want when looking for our future husbands, right? I didn't approach the guy I saw last weekend though, because I thought that I will find my own Hemsworth or Gigandet somewhere, without a baby but as gorgeous. That's how I prefer it, after all.

- lovesme

Last Saturday - the odd beginning of summer

Last Saturday in Finland many people spent the day by celebrating either someone’s graduation, or just the beginning of summer holidays. My younger brother finished his middle school and two friends of mine graduated from high school, so I celebrated their achievements with them!  Well, at least I tried to celebrate.. but I felt odd the whole day. I was just in my thoughts the whole day, thinking that last year I was one of those who graduated and got the white cap after studying hard the last three years. Me and many others left behind all the people we had studied with three years, all the familiar faces, the friends with some of whom would keep in touch. We left behind our high school sweethearts, the classrooms where we did all the exams we were scared not passing, all the struggle with studies and all the drama! I graduated one year ago but now it all really hit me. High school is behind and we have tried to face the real world and the future.

In a year I’ve noticed how some of my friends have moved to another town with their boyfriends or by themselves, or went abroad, or started studying in university, or many of them took a gap year like I did. Life has moved on. Why I’m telling you all of this is that last Saturday I felt like everyone else are moving on but I’m still struggling with my past and my future. I had this strange feeling, when I was in the middle of a crowded room that no one really saw me. They saw just the shell of me. Just smiling, enjoying myself and trying to be present when I was feeling exactly the opposite inside.

The day of my graduation 04.06.2011

I thought about how I was one year ago that day. I was completely, utterly happy. I was in love. I was waiting for my trip to England. I had ended one period of life and couldn't wait, what future will bring. This year I wasn't feeling that happy, nor in love. I missed the person I was a year ago. The life I had. Don't get me wrong I love my life now but there's a part of me that still misses being in love. I'm still waiting what future will bring and excited about this time when you start making big decisions about your life. Now being single I don't have any strong bonds anywhere so I'm free to do whatever with my life without needing to think about another person in it.

Many people asked me last Saturday whether I have applied to university. It was really hard to explain that I had, but I had also changed my mind and made another plans! Everyone was just “oh, ok well good for you..” They didn't get it. Why is it so hard to understand that in our age we still can change our mind, if we like? It's our life and future we're talking about!

That made me wonder, what if I get stuck with this period of life and this is it? I wouldn't get in university, but I have a job in a local supermarket so maybe in ten years I will be doing the same work, every day. Oh wow, I’m surprisingly pessimistic today. I know I won’t. There's no way I would be content with this. On Saturday I talked with this lady who had lived in Spain for 14 years. I told her about my plans to go back to Britain instead of applying uni here and how no one didn't seem to understand that. She had also encountered such prejudice when she was young and planning to go to Spain. She said that life is all about doing crazy things, taking chances and grabbing opportunities and challenges. The typical pattern is that after graduating from high school many people go to uni or just work, then they find a lad to be with, they move in together, they graduate, they get engaged then married, they get a dog, get a house and children and so on. Why to follow the typical pattern when you can make your own? I agreed with her completely.

It takes courage to do the opposite what people are expecting. Some just go with the typical pattern cause that's what people do, it feels safe and it works. For some people. Not for me though. So I thought that bloody hell others might think whatever they like. I'm not applying to uni in Finland even though everyone expects it. I'm still not sure about what my pattern will be like, but I do have plans. People might think that "oh wow another one who will figure out her future forever and end up working in a supermarket". Well, never going to happen. I know it and that's enough. My plans are waiting to be established. I just need to stand behind them and believe in them. It's never easy to be deviant. ;)

Like I mentioned last Saturday I had this feeling that everyone else have moved on expect me. Some live on their own when I still live with my parents. Some are engaged when I’m still single. Some of them are starting their studies next autumn when I will continue working in a local supermarket. But guess what, maybe now I have this period of life that nothing big isn’t happening to me. Maybe it's meant to be that I'm just working and I'm single. I know something big will happen. I can feel it in my gut. Well summer has officially begun, too many thoughts and odd feelings but can’t wait what it will bring! Especially next autumn will be crucial for me when it comes to my life pattern and future plans. In time I will tell you, when the time is right.

In the end, I want to share a song with you. I'm not a good friend of Finnish music but this Finnish song with its' harmonious nuances and leading singer's gentle voice is simply beautiful! It also describes perfectly my mood last weekend and now when summer has officially begun, the title is also suited for the occasion. It's called Kesäyö (Summer night) by Pariisin Kevät. Enjoy!

- lovesme xx

A Friendship after a breakup?

I know most of women have been in this situation. Your boyfriend says: “Umm I think this is not gonna work out. I think we should stop seeing each other but, umm I hope we could stay friends?”  You just say: “Sure!”  Well, can we truly be “just friends” with our exes? 

I know there is people that are friends with some of their exes, but I really don’t know how they do it. Maybe those people just can put their more-than-friends-feelings aside, put them in some kind of imaginary box, lock it and never feel like that anymore and just simply, be friends. I can’t.  If you have had a huge crush on someone or in worst cases you have fell in love, but in the end, you break up. How would you be able to just settle in being “just friends”?  If you have been with someone for months or years, you have given everything to him, he has become like a part of your family, you have made love, basically done everything that “just friends” don’t do! How is it possible to be “just friends” after all that?

Found in: We Heart It

Ok firstly, a friendship with your ex after a breakup depends on what the breakup has been like. If the breakup has been good so that there hasn’t been cheating or anything emotionally wrecking involved, a friendship is possible. If there has been something wrecking as cheating, I’m sure that many women, including me, don’t want to have anything to do with those guys anymore. Well, someday we might forgive them. Maybe.

Secondly, a possible friendship after a breakup depends on who was been dumbed. The one who’s been dumbed surely gets hurt more. Usually you hear the words “Could we just stay friends?” from the one who is ending it. It’s like a consolation price, like easing the pain. “Hey I think this is not gonna work out, we should end this but hey let’s be friends!” Well, when you’re still in love with the fucking guy, you’ve been planning your future with him and the guy wants to break up, the friendship option doesn’t ease your pain that much. The ones who have been dumbed find it harder to be friends with their exes. In my case that’s because, I find it hard to trust them again. They have hurt me once by breaking up with me and breaking my heart. So even if we were “just friends” I’d be afraid they might hurt me again, if I let them in my life. Anyway,

Found in: We Heart It

Any kind of breakup hurts. 

Doesn’t matter were you dumbed 

or were you the one who ended it.   

In break-ups not just two people break up

also two hearts break a little

Break-ups leave scars in our hearts

To make sure we will never forget the ones

we cared about

- lovesme

There’s also this risk in being a friend with your ex. If you try to be friends straight after the breakup there might occur some sort of friends-with-benefits-kind-of-friendship?  You both can't let go. You are not together but you still have sex. That's the most usual mistake to do. Been there, not a good idea. You never get over him doing so. Usually guys are really happy with this. C’mon think about it, just sex, no relationship, It’s their dream come true! Even though you made a pact that “just friends with sex, no relationship”, there’s always the risk that either one of you starts feeling more than just friends. Other one is happy, but the other wants more and ta-dah there it is, the risk of getting hurt again. There's always the one who gets hurt. You know it's not a good idea, so don't do it. You'll just hurt yourself deliberately.

This is why I think friendship after a breakup is impossible. At least, straight after a break-up. If you give yourself time to get over him, you’ll be apart from each other, don’t keep in touch and see each other for a while your feelings might not be that powerful anymore, so a friendship might be possible. If you want one. In my opinion, I would say once you have loved or had a huge crush on someone, there'll be forever a part of you which is still feeling so. I think that's why I can't be friends with my exes.

Even though I know the greatest part of me don't love him 

or don't want him back

or don't miss him anymore

There is still the tiny part that does

It will always hurt to see him.

My heart is pounding in anxiety.

Healed scars in my heart start tingling again.

I don't want him near me. 

He hurt me once. 

He can do it  again

- lovesme

But hey that's my opinion and like I said in the beginning, there is people who actually are friends with some of their exes. So it happens, just not for me! Well I'm trying my best, actually at the moment with one of them, let's see how it goes..

- lovesme xoxo

Happiness and summer fashion

I'm so happy right now that I could just dance around my house or something. First of all, the biggest reason for my happiness is that ME AND KISU FINALLY BOOKED PLAIN TICKETS TO LONDON HEATHROW!!!! I'M FINALLY GOING BACK!! August 20th is the date what I look forward to more than anything at the moment! We're going to stay in Oxford of course. I can't wait to see all my mates again, go to my favorite pubs and shops, visit London etc. aaah<3 Three months and I'm going home. Only for a week though, I have no idea how I'm going to manage to come back only after one week. Well let's not think about that, not just yet. Now I'll focus on just being happy and excited! Yay!

Happyyyy! :)) btw, I think purple eye-shadow looks good on me! Tried it on today!

Another thing I'm happy about is summer! Finally it's warm enough outside so I can soon wear my fabulous new summer clothes! I thought I'll show you some of my new favorites!

Firstly, I found these fabulous bikinis in Lindex! I love the colour! And they were so cheap, only 9,90€!

I found these shorts in Lindex as well! They go so well with the bikinis! Also 9,90€

Top and Shorts: GinaTricot These are my favorite shorts, I love the high waist!

Top: GinaTricot Shorts: River Island I love the top with bright coloured Union Jack! Looks fabulous with the shorts!

My biggest favorite of all my favorites! I want to wear this like every day! <3 Panther print jumpsuit : H&M 

I haven't talked about my style yet but I thought I focus on that in other post. But I'll tell you a little about my style in summer. In summer I like to keep everything simple. Shorts are my favorites cause they are so easy! You can go cycling, play beach volleyball or whatever, they work! Shorts and a cute top and you're ready to go! Although, my biggest favorite this summer is my panther print jumpsuit (pic above). It's loose but highlights your waist. The fabric is so light it feels like you're wearing nothing! Perfect for hot days! Black wedges and sunglasses with it and ta-dah! Gosh I love fashion. Let us talk about this later. In the end, listen to one of my favorite songs at the moment! It always gets me in the party mood! Well, couple of weeks and we're gonna celebrate the official beginning of the summer 2012! Hmm.. what should I wear?

 

 PS: Could someone give me a birthday present beforehand and get me that kind of Audi you see at the beginning of the video? Pleaseee? :)

Until next time,              

- lovesme xx

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