I know most
of women have been in this situation. Your boyfriend says: “Umm I think this is
not gonna work out. I think we should stop seeing each other but, umm I hope we
could stay friends?” You just say:
“Sure!” Well, can we truly be “just
friends” with our exes?
I know there
is people that are friends with some of their exes, but I really don’t know how
they do it. Maybe those people just can put their more-than-friends-feelings
aside, put them in some kind of imaginary box, lock it and never feel like that
anymore and just simply, be friends. I can’t.
If you have had a huge crush on someone or in worst cases you have fell
in love, but in the end, you break up. How would you be able to just settle in being “just
friends”? If you have been with someone
for months or years, you have given everything to him, he has become like a part of your family, you have made love, basically done everything that “just friends” don’t do! How is it possible to be “just friends” after all that?
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| Found in: We Heart It |
Ok firstly,
a friendship with your ex after a breakup depends on what the breakup has been
like. If the breakup has been good so that there hasn’t been cheating or
anything emotionally wrecking involved, a friendship is possible. If there has been something wrecking as cheating, I’m
sure that many women, including me, don’t want to have anything to do with those guys anymore. Well, someday we might forgive them. Maybe.
Secondly,
a possible friendship after a breakup depends on who was been dumbed. The one
who’s been dumbed surely gets hurt more. Usually you hear the words “Could we
just stay friends?” from the one who is ending it. It’s like a consolation price,
like easing the pain. “Hey I think this is not gonna work out, we should end
this but hey let’s be friends!” Well, when you’re still in love with the
fucking guy, you’ve been planning your future with him and the guy wants to break up, the
friendship option doesn’t ease your pain that much. The ones who have been dumbed find
it harder to be friends with their exes. In my case that’s because, I find it
hard to trust them again. They have hurt me once by breaking up with me and breaking
my heart. So even if we were “just friends” I’d be afraid they might hurt me
again, if I let them in my life. Anyway,
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| Found in: We Heart It |
Any
kind of breakup hurts.
Doesn’t matter were you dumbed
or were you the one who
ended it.
In break-ups not just two people break up
also two hearts break a little
Break-ups leave scars in our hearts
To make sure we will never forget the ones
we cared about
- lovesme
There’s
also this risk in being a friend with your ex. If you try to be friends
straight after the breakup there might occur some sort of friends-with-benefits-kind-of-friendship? You both can't let go. You are not together but you still have sex. That's the most usual mistake to do. Been there, not a good idea. You never get over him doing so.
Usually guys are really happy with this. C’mon think about it, just sex, no
relationship, It’s their dream come true! Even though you made a pact that
“just friends with sex, no relationship”, there’s always the risk that
either one of you starts feeling more than just friends. Other one is happy, but the other wants more and ta-dah there it is, the risk of getting
hurt again. There's always the one who gets hurt. You know it's not a good idea, so don't do it. You'll just hurt yourself deliberately.
This is why I think friendship after a breakup is impossible. At least, straight after a
break-up. If you give yourself time to get over him, you’ll be apart from each
other, don’t keep in touch and see each other for a while your
feelings might not be that powerful anymore, so a friendship might be possible. If
you want one. In my opinion, I would say once you have loved or had a huge crush on someone, there'll be forever a part of you which is still feeling so. I think that's why I can't be friends with my exes.
Even though I know the greatest part of me don't love him
or don't want him back
or don't miss him anymore
There is still the tiny part that does
It will always hurt to see him.
My heart is pounding in anxiety.
Healed scars in my heart start tingling again.
I don't want him near me.
He hurt me once.
He can do it again
- lovesme
But hey that's my opinion and like I said in the beginning, there is people who actually are friends with some of their exes. So it happens, just not for me! Well I'm trying my best, actually at the moment with one of them, let's see how it goes..
- lovesme xoxo
